Enchanted Beginnings, First Decks, Vagina Candles, and Time Machines

I got my first tarot deck when I was seventeen.
There is this store in NY called "Enchantments", which I realize now is also the meaning of my birth name.
I was cRazy about this place. There was so much to learn.
Just like my mother's house there were rows upon rows of glass jars filled with herbs and labeled with precision and purpose.
So many different scents filled the small space and cReAKy wooden floors.
There was always a cat or two. Fat and lazy. They spent most of their time basking in the storefront windows and then stealing random affection from customer's ankles. Some of them were even luck enough to receive generous ear masseuses.
As a teenager I was enthralled and amused by the penis and vagina candles.
Every once in awhile the random freak would come in demanding the latest version of the Necronomicon because it was "an emergency", but overall it was just a wonderful place for me to explore and learn about myself.
My favorite part was the candle making section in the back. I usually spoke to Joe. (I wonder if he is still there?)
He always treated everyone with compassion and understanding and went right to work, making, conjuring, and mixing oils for baths, and candles, and perfumes...
absolute bliss.
Where was I going with this? Yes, the tarot.
So, I got my first deck. I know that most everyone uses Rider Waite as a standard introduction, and that was the case with me.
And something happened when I first started to use the cards.
Something just clicked and sparked.
I can only explain it as an obsessed quickening.
I simply could not get enough of learning, and seeing, and touching.
Something came to life inside of me, and it has been there ever since.
I would shuffle the cards and practice learning to handle them in my hands. Most of the decks are a large awkward size. I am graced with having really large, slender hands as it is, but it's still hard to shuffle.
I would practice spreads and then run back to the book.
Practice, look, analyze, read. Practice, feel, shuffle, analyze, feel, read. Practice, look, feel, ignore book, spread cards differently, run back to book, analyze, read.
I did this over and over and over.
I'm still doing it.
I love it.
I go someplace when I'm reading.
It's almost like a magical time machine.
I get to feel and see glimpses of things that aren't in our daily space.
Blocks of windows, time and feelings open....and I see them.
I feel them. I translate them.
Don't get me wrong. Not all of the windows that I see through are pretty.
It's not always a day at the park. And reading for myself is e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y difficult.
To the point where I'm luck enough to have friends that are readers as well.
It's not easy to see one's life, complete with its gifts and faults.
But I'm grateful for this gift. I'm grateful that I can help people.
I have since graduated to a number of decks.
I have noticed that all decks have different personalities.
Some are very serious. Some are whimsical and light, and others are more traditional.
I'm working on my own deck and looking forward to where that journey takes me.
(But more on that later =)
Goodnight my friends.
*sprinkle sprinkle*

"Tumbling Fortunes, Waking States, Stressed Grapes, and Household Names"

Yes everyone, it's that time again.
Mercury is in retrograde.
I think it's wonderful and unfortunate that retrograde news has become a household name within that past two years.
But the first thing that I will say is DON'T PANIC!
Grab a towel, have a seat and think of it this way.
Retrograde is all about information.
Think of fortune cookie wrappers falling from the sky, mixed with neglected bills and letters from old friends and lovers that you haven't heard from in decades.
Think of the ghost in the machine coming alive for a few moments to give you a message. One you wouldn't have thought of in a conscious waking state. Or think of that machine finally getting enough juice to let you know that it needs repair before it dies.
Retrograde is a huge windstorm of information that surrounds you, and it's practically impossible to grab and hold onto all of it.
So just stand still and let the wind blow all around you. Hold your hands out and look at the things that fall into your palms.
It might be difficult to communicate your thoughts and words clearly, just as it might be harder to understand people.
"A foreign tongue in your native language."
There will be many times that you will feel frustrated and annoyed.
For me the past three days has been a constant test of my patience, endurance and faith.
I've gotten angry, I've cried and I've taken A LOT of deep breaths.
But it's good to be out of your element. It's good to be in a fUnK and to feel uncomfortable.
It means that something in your life is no longer acceptable and needs reform or release.
Remember that grapes need to undergo a certain amount of sTrEsS to make savory, complex and flavorful wines.
Dangle from the branch. You will not fall.
Sway. And see what life looks like from a different angle.
It's okay to reach out if that's what you're feeling, and it's also okay to recoil.
Write, paint, read, listen to music, watch movies, take walks.
You are reassessing and gathering information.
After the 29th you can take steps in new directions if you please, or just simply dust off the ashes because there is nothing that you wish to change at the moment.
You make the rules.
This is the obscure fine line that I walk when it comes to mysticism and spirituality.
I don't like rules very much, and I believe that guidance is one thing, but the idea of following orders or particular steps is just a form of arrogance to me.
No one has the same story. The same vision. The same hurts. The same gifts.
We're all just standing together yet separate, with our umbrellas cast to the side. Our hair whisking through the air with fortunes tumbling from an infinite sky of vast possibilities.
*sprinkle sprinkle*