I got my first tarot deck when I was seventeen.
There is this store in NY called "Enchantments", which I realize now is also the meaning of my birth name.
I was cRazy about this place. There was so much to learn.
Just like my mother's house there were rows upon rows of glass jars filled with herbs and labeled with precision and purpose.
So many different scents filled the small space and cReAKy wooden floors.
There was always a cat or two. Fat and lazy. They spent most of their time basking in the storefront windows and then stealing random affection from customer's ankles. Some of them were even luck enough to receive generous ear masseuses.
As a teenager I was enthralled and amused by the penis and vagina candles.
Every once in awhile the random freak would come in demanding the latest version of the Necronomicon because it was "an emergency", but overall it was just a wonderful place for me to explore and learn about myself.
My favorite part was the candle making section in the back. I usually spoke to Joe. (I wonder if he is still there?)
He always treated everyone with compassion and understanding and went right to work, making, conjuring, and mixing oils for baths, and candles, and perfumes...
absolute bliss.
Where was I going with this? Yes, the tarot.
So, I got my first deck. I know that most everyone uses Rider Waite as a standard introduction, and that was the case with me.
And something happened when I first started to use the cards.
Something just clicked and sparked.
I can only explain it as an obsessed quickening.
I simply could not get enough of learning, and seeing, and touching.
Something came to life inside of me, and it has been there ever since.
I would shuffle the cards and practice learning to handle them in my hands. Most of the decks are a large awkward size. I am graced with having really large, slender hands as it is, but it's still hard to shuffle.
I would practice spreads and then run back to the book.
Practice, look, analyze, read. Practice, feel, shuffle, analyze, feel, read. Practice, look, feel, ignore book, spread cards differently, run back to book, analyze, read.
I did this over and over and over.
I'm still doing it.
I love it.
I go someplace when I'm reading.
It's almost like a magical time machine.
I get to feel and see glimpses of things that aren't in our daily space.
Blocks of windows, time and feelings open....and I see them.
I feel them. I translate them.
Don't get me wrong. Not all of the windows that I see through are pretty.
It's not always a day at the park. And reading for myself is e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y difficult.
To the point where I'm luck enough to have friends that are readers as well.
It's not easy to see one's life, complete with its gifts and faults.
But I'm grateful for this gift. I'm grateful that I can help people.
I have since graduated to a number of decks.
I have noticed that all decks have different personalities.
Some are very serious. Some are whimsical and light, and others are more traditional.
I'm working on my own deck and looking forward to where that journey takes me.
(But more on that later =)
Goodnight my friends.
*sprinkle sprinkle*
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